Office Etiquette

My office is located within a "professional" building comprised of dentists, psychologists, lawyers, and others. We are all different in our profession and yet each of us have one thing in common called service. Within this building, we all provide a service to a customer or patient. What does it mean to provide a service to someone? In very simple terms, the action of doing work for someone else for either the exchange of money, barter of goods, or nothing at all...free. Paid or otherwise, my main objective for all my clients is to provide a calm and serene environment to help optimize their wellness. My office door states I am a "Wellness" provider. While I may have my own agenda for a successful outcome during each session, I'm very confident that each client has his or her own expectations during their session with me.

What I have just described is not (or should not) be foreign to my neighbors here in this professional building. They too have an idea how each appointment should proceed. I would wager to say that their clients, like mine, have expectations and goals for their appointments too.

Is it then, unreasonable to expect my neighbors to be mindful of me or my clients and vice versa? After all, our ultimate goals in our careers are similar. Should I be given the right to speak as loudly as I'd like, run down the stairs and jump the last two steps to the front door (even though there are offices located at the bottom of those stairs)? Some tenants might protest: "But I pay my rent. There wasn't anything written into my contract between me and my landlord as to the volume of my or my staff's voice(s), nothing written about not slamming doors or not bringing pets into the office. I have rights!" When you lease or rent a car--is it "yours" to do what you want or is there reasonable expectations of product care and conduct of the lessee by the lessor? If you rent an apartment are there rules and policies the tenants are expected to abide by? What of the unspoken or unwritten rules? Yes, there are rules of etiquette one should be aware of and they may not be in your contract. These rules apply to all public areas (really) whether you rent or lease a dwelling or office, or visit the library. Here are a few unspoken and written rules:

Oops! You're in the Office Now...Not the Playground.

• Unless you're in the music business, chances are the walls are not sound proof. I know this may shock some of you but laughing and cackling is annoying to others. Cubicle walls usually do not extend to the ceiling, which means I see you. Control yourself.
• Look. If you're going to talk behind Sally's back, take it to the bathroom and check the stalls before you regurgitate your gossip all over your coworkers. Seriously, talking behind someone's back is not only ugly, it's cowardly.
• Your coworkers are not your personal maids and servants. Typical to your behavior at home, you let a cup or dish hang out in the sink for days. Not here buddy! If there's no sponge around, either bring in your own or use paper towel and soap. No one at your job should clean your dirty coffee mug out but you.
• Finally, if half your department goes out to lunch, first remember there's a whole other half of your department whom are all eagerly awaiting to leave the building too. Be courteous and on time please.


Renting An Office Is Like Buying A House...KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS!

Had I known that my neighbors were so utterly rude, I might not have sank 16 grand into this place. Just as you occupy space with strangers and loved ones on this earth, so do you share intimate space (for hours) in an office building.

• When you take a conference call try to use your calm, collected, business voice. No one wants to hear you screaming at the top of your lungs. Not only will you upset the person on the other end of the phone, but you upset your neighbor, and your neighbor's clients. Ahhhh...got you in the purse did I? That's right Mr. Rude, those clients could be creating a dossier on you for their friends. Don't you know word of mouth is your greatest marketing tool? Keep your cool.
• If your file cabinets are up against our shared wall, do not slam them? Shutting drawers, doors, cabinets...that's a part of life... we get it. Slamming, on the other hand, is beyond disturbing and shudders every bone in my body. Slamming adds undo wear and tear to your furniture and mine. The vibrations cause fine cracks in my walls and disturbs my clients (also possibly your potential clients).
• Get to know your neighbors. You don't have to go out to lunch with them, just say hello my name is (fill in the blank). Tell them what you do, how long you've been there and then ask them the same questions. You never know when you might need each other's services, you may know the same people, or perhaps they can introduce you to their friends...it's called networking. Having conversation with people outside your industry is actually quite nice. Try it.

Being a good neighbor is easy, putting up with a bad one is hard work. Bad office neighbors are the worst and may cause undo stress, dis-ease, and may cost you business. I know what you're thinking: "Oh HELL NO!" I hear ya, so nip it in the bud before your neighbor's rudeness grows into an unmanageable and frenzied situation.

Do You Mind?

Hey! Thanks for using your signal lady! Whoa, please...be my guest mister... cut me off anytime and don't bother to wave a thank you in my direction I know you're in a rush to get nowhere...

Does this happen to you? Of course it does. You're a mindful person. You wear your seat belt, use your directional, allow people to merge into your lane, and shut your high beams off when an oncoming car is approaching you. If you're like me, you obey state law as well as the unspoken rules of the road. While tailgating, driving behind a slow poke, or the poor lost soul (who has no idea where he is and hugs the curb waiting for his street) might make you rip your hair out, nothing sends the acid up my throat like the mindless boobs I'm about to list.

You Idiot!
1. If you must talk on the cell phone and drive at the same time, keep your eyes on the road. There are cars all around you filled with people who have families. I come from a long line of hot-heads so you will definitely be in trouble if your car smashes into mine causing me to be seriously hurt.

2. Whether you cut me off, inch your car into my lane, or I let you in--give a courtesy wave! What's with no wave people? I don't know this to be a fact and I haven't read any psychology or sociology peer-reviewed papers on this, but I suspect that those who do not say "thank you" on a regular basis do not do 'the wave.'

3. Here's the real bottom-dweller: 'The speed-swerver.' Not only is this person completely void of any manners but he or she is reckless with their life and yours. In other words, this person is saying, not only am I a complete idiot but your existence on this planet is meaningless to me. According to 2005 car statistics, "about 115 people die every day in vehicle crashes in the United States -- one death every 13 minutes." www.car-accidents.com

What does it mean to be mindful of others (people and animals)? Slow down when they cross the road. Wave to show your appreciation when you've been allowed into someone's lane. Call the police if you see someone stuck on the side of the road and you can't or won't pull over. Finally, indicate all turns made using your car or hand signals. This isn't rocket science, this is being human.




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Living In A Vacuum: It's Not ALL About You.

I took today off from work. Although business has become slow and I really did have so much paperwork to do, I was hankering for some 'me' time.

I decided to head out to the mall and hang out at Barnes & Noble (my favorite store), peruse the shelves, get lost in the magazine rack, and sip on a warm soy latte. It was going to be a great day! Wrong. As I drive into the over-packed shopping mall (doesn't anybody work anymore?--oh right, thanks Wall Street) I am instantly reminded how selfish most people are. Have you ever noticed how rules just don't apply to most rudies (rude people). They double park their cars, pull out of spots without checking traffic, cross walkways without turning their heads in both directions, talk on their cell phones constantly, never move aside as you approach them with handfuls of bags, march by at neck-breaking speeds without as much as an "excuse me" when they crash into your shoulder...and hold the door open for you? Good Luck!

What exactly happened to good ole' home training? My parents raised me to be kind and considerate. Be nice to old people, say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes, respect the earth--don't litter. What the hell happened to civil society? To parenting? To politeness??

School Is In Session:

• You don't live in a vacuum: believe it or not, you exist on this planet with other breathing, warm-blooded beings called humans. Do yourself a favor and try to coexist with them. Being mindful of these creatures might bring about feelings of jubilation, a grounding-togetherness some of us find peaceful and normal. Reaching out and communicating may create new connections in your brain, supplying more oxygen and longevity to your own wellbeing.

• Acts of kindness: you don't have to smile all the time (that would be insane) but kindness is mandatory here on planet Earth. Do you have peripheral vision? Can you sense when other people are near? If you answered yes, then hold the door open for them when they're behind you. Help an elderly person cross the street. Wait your turn. Be a good listener and know when to just shut up. Teach a child to be nice to animals and say I love you...and learn to mean it.

• Friendships & Communication: If you're reading this then you're keenly aware of social networking sites. Did you know people are spending less time going out and socializing? Do you know how many children are suffering because their entire social ladder-climbing existence revolves around how many 'friends' they have on Face Book? Have you ever looked on your Face Book wall and wondered why a friend or family member doesn't participate on your "wall" but will comment and click the "like" button on everything another family or friend posts? Hello? Rude. If you're going to request friendship from someone, whether it be at work, at school, or on a social networking site--please do your part and work on nourishing that connection.

These are but a drop from the scum bucket of annoying rude behavior I have collected. What have your experiences been and what tips or remedies have you used to eradicate the rudies in your life?